yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
