How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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