Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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