I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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