Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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