Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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