Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
