so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
