I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize