just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
