you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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