Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
please come you make the beer taste better
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize