so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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