I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
