I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
