hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
