im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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