Screwed.edu
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize