Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
