I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think your dad took our porno
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
