He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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