Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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