yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize