You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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