I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
