the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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