so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
