like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize