Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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