Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
