No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
