"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
