I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
