idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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