don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
