ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
