Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
