Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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