He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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