they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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