I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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