I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
