Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
