it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
