its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
