I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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