i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize