idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
