she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ttyl tear gas
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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