Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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