She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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