Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
