I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
