he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
