If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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