Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
