He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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