i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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