Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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