he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
