i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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