break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Randomize