thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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