like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
