Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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