i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
