I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently you make a good broom.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We left the knife in your bed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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