woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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