I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
