im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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