I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
