I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
