I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
