At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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