I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
All the doctor said was why
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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